Whitney Houston's song I Didn't Know My Own Strength should be my mother's anthem and mine as well. My mother's life was plagued with illness, both mental illness and physical. Due to the fact that her bi-polar disorder had many extremes on both ends when it came to mania and depression, she had to take a host of drugs to manage the episodes. Although they did help lengthen the time between episodes, it came with a price. As I got older, I watch my mother move from dealing with mental illness to physical illness that in their combination would make anyone question "What's the point of all this?". Despite her later battles with the effects of diabetes and high blood pressure (renal failure) with a few more unexpected turns, she still remained strong. Her strength was evident in her children and my father. Most people never realized how sick my mother truly was unless you were in our closest circles. We hide it well.
My mother's ability to handle illness and raise two well adjusted children is legendary and she should have received a medal for it.
Unfortnately no matter how much strength lies in our veins, we all have our breaking point. For my mother, it was a hip and femur fracture that took her out.
The ability to perservere was one of the greatest lessons she gave me. It helped me to complete all three of my degrees, all while dealing with stuff. Every time I though about quitting I saw her face when she was dealing with her "stuff" and was reminded how she still was able be a great parent despite her pain.
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