A Bond From Day 1-Until We Meet Again!

John William Crosby, Sr. 

Sunrise: February 6, 1949                            Sunset: November 19, 2020 

Dad, 

From the start, we were bonded together. Shortly after my birth, Mom was hospitalized and you were there for me. You were the kind of father that many never have. One that was completely devoted to the welfare of his wife and children. You time after time, put your needs aside to keep us safe and more importantly provide both John and I a very normal childhood despite all the moving and times we had to face mom’s illnesses together. 

I am deeply grateful that you supported me throughout my life. Without you, I would not be where I am. There would be no Ph.D. without your influence. You ensured that both John and I always went to great schools and lived in great neighborhoods. This shaped my personality and helps me be a great educator to this day.  Even when we had to live at the Pike Motel for several years, you chose this so we could stay in the same high school and have some sense of consistency. 

Thank you for all the rounds of golf, days of shooting basketballs, and teaching me how to change a tire.

Thank you for being a gentle giant with a very compassionate soul. People ask me why I am so giving, it is because of YOU! 

Thank you for NEVER giving up on mom. On many days, you had to endure things that many could never imagine. Thank you for being my partner in compassion as we traveled many hours to see mom during her numerous hospitalization over the lifetime. You showed me what is needed from caregivers when our loved ones have to face the fear associated with chronic illness. 

Thank you for showing both John and me how a man should treat a woman and lighting up every time you saw Matt when we visited with you at the nursing home. 

More importantly, thank you for being a Parkinson’s Warrior. The disease was unkind to you yet you still smiled. You still could find joy amongst the pain you had to endure each day for 11 years while you lived in a body that was failing you. It is a model of strength that I plan to continue in your memory and to help your legacy live one. 

Although I plan on not seeing you for another 52 and ½ years, I do hope that you will be the one to come and give me the two-week notice that you gave me in the end. You knew I was serious and delivered. Goodbye, Dad but the song from “I’ll Find You” by Lecrae and Tori Kelly reminds me that you will find me again when the time comes. 

Love,

Cherie

When Your Guardian Angel Prepares You for #200

Although my mom left this world 13 years ago this November, the years we were separated by hospitalizations including some of the following: 1 year in Michigan 9 months after a Kidney Transplant and so many more.........prepared me for tomorrow. Each seperation prepared me for tomorrow, September 16, 2020 which will mark 200 days since I stepped foot in my Dad's nursing home and could talk with him in person. Although Covid-19 has robbed us a little over half year, we are both are blessed my mother who watches over us from above. Thank you mom, for the prep, it came in handy!

It's Been a While!

It's been a while, two years to be exact! 

 I created this blog a few years after my mother died as a place of reflection and continual remembrance of what she gave us. When I reflect on Covid-19 its impact so far, I am painfully reminded how it has robbed millions with precious time with their loved ones that can never be regained. Particularly for those who have love ones who were chronically ill or are chronically ill. If you live long enough you, we will have to painfully watch our loved ones' quality of life change. 

Over the past 6 months, I have often been angry at the fact that some seem to have no awareness of the pain COVID-19 has caused. I often wonder if we can forgive those that wanted a hair cut or to watch football when some of us could not see their loved ones for several months or could not be there in the final moments. Not sure if I can on this one. Especially since I haven't forgiven the time around my mother's death. 

I also wonder if my mom is there to receive the loved ones of my friends. Kind of a tour guide of Heaven who has been eavesdropping in on my phone, email, and text conversations. I do hope she does. I hope that see remind the newly entered that the illness that once trapped your body and/or mind was left on earth. 

I hope you let them know that they will visit their loved ones in butterflies and sunsets. 

I hope she lets them know their loved ones will be ok in time. For some, this time is longer and others it is shorter. 

This is dedicated to the numerous colleagues, peers, and students who have lost a loved one this year either to Covid-19 or not. Although the circumstances of my mother's death were quite different 13 years ago in that there was no pandemic. I do want you to know that I am here for all of you. 

One of the greatest gifts my friends and colleagues who knew me well were to understand that grieving is truly a process, unique to every individual, and lives with always.