October 28, 2007-A Mother's Final Message to her Daugther's Life Partner

Sunday, October 28, 2007 is a very memorable date. Not only was it my brother's 32nd birthday but it was the day my mother gave her final and powerful message to my boyfriend, Matt. 

This day was shortly after my mother had surgery to repair her shattered right hip and femur bone. This Sunday Matt and I decided to visit my mother in the hospital. Prior to my mother entering the hospital, she told me that she wanted to tell Matt something. I tried to make her drop the issue but she insisted that the next time she saw him she was going to TELL HIM. 

So as we entered her hospital room, my mother appeared to be sleeping and kind of out it. All of sudden, her eyes opened and she proceeded to say the following: 

"Matt, Matt! It's time; it's time, for you to marry my daughter!" Then she fell back asleep. 

Both Matt and I were speechless and I personally had to chuckle years later because to had the last word. 

In the end, although Matt and I are not married, we are committed to each other, and are often more respectful to each other than some married couples are. 

A few years after my mother's death, Matt shared with me a letter that my mother sent him (I never new) and in it, she told him how happy she was for us and how she appreciated how he made me happy. 

With her words, he continues to do this today and I know my mother is just beaming up in heaven. 

It is memories like this that take the sting out of the loss of a love one. 

October 3, 2007-The Beginning of The End (Reflections of a Heavenly Transition)

October 3 will mark the day my mother's transition into heaven began. On this day, my mother fell, while in the hospital and shattered her right hip and femur bone. It is hard to believe that it has almost been five years since her death on November 3, 2007.

Each year I try to take time to reflect on her life and journey. This year I would like to reflect on some key words and quotes that reflect the 30 day period in which my mother made her transition from this world into the next.

At age 34 I watched my mother died rather quickly and have to endure a tremendous amount of pain. I remember when my family finally got in contact with me (I never keep my cell on and still do not to this day), my heart sunk and I thought: It is finally here. As a teenager I begun to realize that my mother would probably not make it to 60 years old and I was right: she died at 57. 

I could have never imagined that I would pray for DEATH but I did. Seeing my mother in traction for three weeks, her body fail her, and watching her vital signs move up and down like a roller coaster was very difficult but it is one that I felt life prepared me for. It strange saying that but its true. Prior to my mother's death I had at least two friends die prematurely-Robert and Milton. Both deaths gave me my first taste that death is real for humans and no one can escape it. 

As the days progressed I slowly watched the signs of reaper's presence: skin breakdown, vital signs of the walking dead, not wanting to eat,  etc. I continued to wonder does everyone's life have to end in pain. I would hope not but during our transition to our next life this is often the case. Luckily in death we (the living) get a glimpse of heaven. I will talk about that one later!  

One quote that comes to mind about the month of October is one I found in a book of quotes by Glenn Van Ekeren: "Well, you see, it's like this. The Bible says often, 'And it came to pass,' never, 'It came to stay." 

This quote reminds me that any pain we endure in the end or at anytime in our life only occurs in passing and never stays. This is mantra of my mother's life, one filled with many moments of pain and suffering but they never stayed and in the end she did find her rainbow. 

The other is the Poem-Don't Quit by Clinton Howell (http://www.angelfire.com/nt/Yeoh/Quit.html), particularly the first section: 

 When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 
 When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 
 When the funds are low, and the debts are high, 
 and you want to smile, but you have to sigh. 
 When care is pressing you down a bit, 
 Rest if you must, but don't you quit. 

This is exactly what my mother did most of her life and definitely for the last 30 days of her life. She held on so that we would have time to accept what was coming and have a few more days with her. I have always thought and will continue to think so that my mother endured a lifetime of mental and physical illnesses so that her children may live a healthy life. It is because her and my father that I do not take anything for granted and cherish my good health.