10 Weeks of Reflection of My Mother's Death (10 Year Anniversary). Week 10-After Death

In the 10 years that have past since my mother's death on November 3, I am reminded of the legacy my mother left me and how because of her strength, I have grown into a strong, educated woman. Although my mother has missed much of this transformation over the past 10 years, I am comforted by the lessons her death have taught me, which include:

1. Grieving is o.k. and evolves over time. Someone accused me of holding onto my grief. I know this now is not true but that what I am going through is natural for someone who loved another human being deeply. My mother's impact on my life was much more than I could have ever have know and that is was death that taught me how much she impacted my life. 
2. Death must be embraced. Death is coming for everyone we love as well as ourselves. Avoiding discussions of death and avoiding dealing with death are simply not health acts. Yes, they protect us temporarily but in the end they can cause more harm than good. As a child, I had two early deaths of family friends, they deeply impacted me and affected my perception of death. Since then and certainly since my mother's death, I am more comfortable with what death brings. I am may not like it, but I accept it. The 30 days it took my mother to die, taught me the process of death, which was relearned when a friend died shortly after her death. 
3. We must live. That I have done since her death. Even in the hours after her death, I could hear her words regarding getting my education. I finished that semester she died strong, graduated with almost a 4.0 (3.8) for my masters and would go on to get my PhD with Distinction (3.971) nine years after her death. I also continued her legacy of deep compassion for others in my work as a professor and when I was program director at the child care level. 
4. You must take care of your health. So would say I am overly cautions about my health, I would say that I would like to avoid preventable conditions. My mother died much too young and ultimately for a whole bag full of diseases that are treatable. I do not blame her for her death, because the cards were truly stacked against her but I am reminded of how precious our health is. 
5. Reading is important. That lesson did not die with my mother. She was a voracious reader and I am now too. I have read anywhere between 100-200 books a year since her death. There is great comfort found. 
6. People will disappoint and you must forgive them. Many disappointed me during the time of my mother's death and the years after. I am still working on forgiving them. But I will one day. 

Until We Meet Again..............