Mother's Day will forever be the 2nd worse day of the year. This year's marks 10 years since the last time I would have celebrated the last one with my mother before her death on November 3, 2017. Sadly, I have no memories of the last day. Partically because of what was going on during that time: a sick friend and dying boss and probably my mother was sick as well.
Interestingly enough I have noticed a trend over the years. Many who have not joined to "double whammy" club of motherless and childless, do not realize the pain that is felt during weeks before and certainly on the day of Mother's Day. It deep and often given a second thought. Although I have chosen to remain childless as a personal choice and people will tell me that my students are my children. It still does not negate that this is a painful and lonely time.
One is which very few check ins occur. No brunch breakfasts. Not even are you ok. The only solace is that I know that some are in my situation, others will join the "Double Whammy" club one day and all of us will be apart of this pain.
The lessons I have learned over the last 10 years is that grieving is truly forever. It presence in your life will come and go, but it is always in the background and when things are quiet enough you hear it. It's part of being human. This year I am around the same age my mother had a major health problem that was the beginning of the last 12 years of her life. One day I will be the same age, she was when she died. That will be scary. And one day I will be well past her death age and thinking I may have conquered this grief thing.
So if you are paying attention, send a little message to those in the "Double Whammy" group: whether they are childless and motherless or have lost both of their parents. The attention is needed and when it isn't received you begin to wonder why.
Interestingly enough I have noticed a trend over the years. Many who have not joined to "double whammy" club of motherless and childless, do not realize the pain that is felt during weeks before and certainly on the day of Mother's Day. It deep and often given a second thought. Although I have chosen to remain childless as a personal choice and people will tell me that my students are my children. It still does not negate that this is a painful and lonely time.
One is which very few check ins occur. No brunch breakfasts. Not even are you ok. The only solace is that I know that some are in my situation, others will join the "Double Whammy" club one day and all of us will be apart of this pain.
The lessons I have learned over the last 10 years is that grieving is truly forever. It presence in your life will come and go, but it is always in the background and when things are quiet enough you hear it. It's part of being human. This year I am around the same age my mother had a major health problem that was the beginning of the last 12 years of her life. One day I will be the same age, she was when she died. That will be scary. And one day I will be well past her death age and thinking I may have conquered this grief thing.
So if you are paying attention, send a little message to those in the "Double Whammy" group: whether they are childless and motherless or have lost both of their parents. The attention is needed and when it isn't received you begin to wonder why.
